I'm going mad... Mad I tells ya!

Okay.... I just have to blog about it because all this pent up tension is just going to explode.

I entered the Heart of the West Writers Contest which I was supposed to hear if I did well/sucked by August 20th. Due to unforeseen issues with a few judges they weren't able to tell us who the finalists were. I've been in super lip- and nail-biting mode ever since.

So today, I got an email (because I'm in the URWA) and someone mentioned that they weren't a finalist.... How did they find out???!?!?! Also, my friend, who also entered the contest, got an email stating that she isn't either (which is crazy because her book is amazing)... Why don't I have any details on how I did or who the finalists are?

I'm going mad!

I went for it

I decided that I would go for it. I spent a little time yesterday researching editors and found on that I decided was worth a shot. I sent my first five pages to her so that I can see a sample of her work. Of course, sending this to her immediately made my stomach flip-flip and I'm feeling nervous and excited about it.

For anyone who knows me, they know I'm a worry wart. What if she thinks my writing sucks? What if the storyline is boring to her (which I don't have to worry about yet since its just the first five pages--which I have to like quite a bit)? What if (if we decide to have her do the whole novel) her quote is too high and I can't afford to have her edit it? On the flip side, what if she really likes my work? What if we turn out to be an amazing team? What if she likes it so much that she wants to see Raider's book?

I already have an incredible critique group, and their feedback has been invaluable... which reminds me, I need to send them my 2nd book... But I still can't get over the nervousness that sending a piece of my work off has created.

That coupled with the fact that I'm still waiting to hear back on the writer's contest has got me (literally) biting my nails and my lips.

I'm going crazy, and feeling sick while doing it.